An Update.
It’s been a while since I’ve written, and that is because everything is different now.
This past year has been one major life change followed by another, some things too personal to discuss yet, and others simply preventing me from reaching the right headspace to talk or write at all.
Some of the things I have done in the past year are graduating college, becoming pregnant, having my baby, and moving houses.
It’s difficult to know what to say about all of those things, especially as they happened so quickly.
When I was pregnant, my brain couldn’t handle thinking a single cohesive thought, let alone write it down in any significant way. My journal was filled with to do lists that never got checked off, not meditations or even full sentences.
I felt swollen in the brain.
And I was actually swollen everywhere else. My blood pressure became elevated and I stopped seeing well sometimes. I was getting sick. After a week of steady monitoring in and out of the hospital, that sickness escalated and I needed to have my baby a month early.
He was okay. I was okay. But the end of my pregnancy and beginning of motherhood was traumatic and still haunts me.
My life doesn’t look the same as it did a year ago, now that I’m a mother instead of a student. I carry different weight than before.
I’m happier now. My baby is an absolute joy of a person. And I’m thankful to be alive.
Most of my time is spent taking care of my sweet boy. Now that the whole life event thing is slowing down, I’ve been focused on a few different things too. I’ve been building routines and writing lists, which I absolutely love doing. I’ve been reading a lot more. I’ve been working on craft projects while my son naps — currently I’m crocheting a blanket that looks like the Catan game board. I’ve been cooking more, which I enjoy far more now that I have a dishwasher, and I’m looking to take up making bread. I’m learning how to skateboard.
And I’ve started to write again.
